I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
