Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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