The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
