So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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