she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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