It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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