whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
