Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
