we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
