just tell him i said nine months
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
