Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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