you have to choose: penises or morals?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
