i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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