honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
