If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
