Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
