she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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