I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
