Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
