We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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