I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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