Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
