I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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