just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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