are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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