Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
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what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
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I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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