In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
