He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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