are you so shy because you have an std?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
