I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
