I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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