He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
