Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
