i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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