belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
