just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
