I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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