We're like a lot better than the average bears
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize