Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
