Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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