First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
