how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
