bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
