I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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