I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
