Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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