The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize