I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
