I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
