Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
