I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
