Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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