I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
