he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
