Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
