if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
