the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
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it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
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I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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