If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize