Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
