walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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