Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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