nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
