I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize