youre lurking in front of me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it's great music for shaving your balls
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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