Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
